The last week or so at the office has been akin to a meaty season of Survivor—but better (and less sweaty). A position recently came open at our firm and unleashed a flood of drama you would only believe if you saw it on television. Would I could give you the juicy details. There were missed interviews, disappearing applicants, current employee clones, “yes’s!” then “no’s”, “maybe’s” then “eh-not-so-much’s,” offers and counteroffers, names to rival Branjie’s kids, and ample facebook stalking (don’t act so shocked).
It all culminated in a reality-show-like finale that mock-ended with a vote to rival the suspense and importance of American Idol. But only one person made it to Hollywood this round. If it’s any indication of our desperation to fill this position, my Facebook status this afternoon read “Okay, my office is looking to fill a position by this time tomorrow. Any takers?” Yeah. Real classy.
All this to say, there are so many story launch points from this week, I’m full of ideas until summer….And it’s only TUESDAY!
Following the totally brill idea of fellow writer, Bianca Filoteo, I’m gonna make a list of a few right here. Feel free to nab or add in the comments.
1. The applicant who missed several interviews because of illness.
a. Comedy: Two day hangover? Recently and unwittingly knocked up?
b. Drama: Chronically ill? Overslept because he’s working 3 jobs?
2. The practical clone of a current employee (same birth town, same school, same drop-out rate, same internship, same life goals…creepy)
a. Comedy: Actual stalker of said employee
b. Drama: Actual stalker of said employee
3. The almost-employee with a last-last-minute second offer
a. Comedy: Turned us down because her frazzled, Trump-like interviewer terrified her?
b. Drama: Turned us down to take his “big break?”
4. The frazzled young-Trump-like interviewer crushed by multiple fall-throughs
a. Comedy: Puts applicants in a hat and draws a name?
b. Drama: Breaks under pressure and quits to start his own social network?
5. The applicant with jokes on his resume?
a. Comedy: Does this person know what a resume is?
b. Comedy 2: A real-life attempt at Legally Blonde?
So much writing fodder. So little time. 🙂